The Lights

For those whose light has helped me find my own way . . .

To feel invisible is to struggle to see the lights that are shining—whether within yourself or in the world around you. But in the process of healing, the lights begin to emerge. And with them, gratitude.

My lights are many.

The brightest is the light of Ida Barr. She helped raise me. She showed me—through her kiss on my neck—that I am loved, and no one can take that away. I can feel the light she had inside to love in a world that rarely returned that favor. I loved her. I still do.

My second light is my wife, Laurel. She shines the light of trust—a trust I can return to when my own flickers and I feel lost. Together, we have held the light for one another through hard times—times many will recognize in their own hearts.

My third light is my supervisor and mentor, SueAnne Piliero, who guided me through my AEDP journey into CSRT, a therapy model that grew from her great light. She shines the light of fearlessness—never afraid to intervene from the love that lives in the heart—our core self. Her light is woven into and reflects my work and life.

Though there are many more, the last ones I’ll name here are my family—my beautiful and brilliant children, Adam and Amy (now Amy Irwin) and her children, my grandchildren, Bess, who leads as the eldest, and Annie, finding her own path of greatness for future generations to follow.

In the end, all of you are my lights. By reading my truth, I feel the light inside you glowing—illuminating those you touch as they become visible again, in the way they were always meant to be.

Let us celebrate the light of transformance that Diana Fosha, founder of AEDP, could see so clearly—knowing it as the force of healing and growth that, one day, we would feel together and share with the world.

In gratitude, and with hope that the light of invisibility will guide us through the storms—leading us to a sky full of lights that open our hearts to life!